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mber and Granger Smith endured a nightmare in 2019 when their 3‑year‑old son, River, drowned in their backyard pool. The loss left the family shattered: their 5‑year‑old son Lincoln and 7‑year‑old daughter London were left to cope with grief while the couple faced harsh online criticism. Granger, a former country singer turned minister, nearly took his own life, yet the couple clung to each other and their faith.
Now 43, Amber is sharing her healing journey in the memoir *The Girl on the Bathroom Floor*. She recalls that the faith that kept her marriage intact was tested early on. “When River was in the hospital, we went to a healing garden and promised each other that we wouldn’t let this tear us apart,” she told Fox News Digital. “We chose each other.”
The couple grieved in different ways. Amber described her private sorrow in the bathroom, while Granger’s pain manifested throughout the house. Their grief was so intense that Granger almost committed suicide, a moment that forced them to lean on one another and their church community. “There’s no handbook for grief,” Amber says, “but we vowed to fight through it together.”
In the book, Amber recounts how visions of River’s face in the pool haunted Granger. In a moment of despair, he even considered taking his own life with a gun. “I cry even typing this,” she writes. “It breaks my heart that he felt this was the only way out. I wish I had known.”
Despite the darkness, Amber never blamed God. “When people told me I was a bad mom, I turned to Scripture,” she says. “It reminds me that every day is numbered, and that God’s love is unsearchable but constant.” She points to the cross as proof that a loving God can endure such pain.
Since River’s death, the Smiths have used social media to promote pool safety for children. They faced accusations of negligence for not teaching River to swim, but the tragedy occurred when he slipped away from view for a brief moment. The guilt lingered, but the church community’s support helped them move forward. They sold their home and built a new one on their Texas property, hoping for a fresh start.
Nearly two months after River’s passing, Amber laughed with her children in the rain, feeling a newfound strength. “God is the source of joy,” she says. “True joy can exist even in hardship.”
In 2021, the couple welcomed a son, Maverick Beckham Smith. Amber explains that while Maverick cannot replace River, he represents a new chapter. “I put him in swim lessons at eight months,” she says, recalling the fear of watching him struggle for air. “Now he’s four and can swim across the pool confidently. I still think of River, but I feel empowered knowing Maverick has the skills to survive.”
Amber hopes her memoir offers hope to other grieving parents. “You cannot get through this without the Lord,” she says. “Life is hard, but it’s even harder without Christ.”
If you or someone you know is experiencing suicidal thoughts or a mental health crisis, call 1‑888‑NYC‑WELL (NYC) or 988 for the National Suicide Prevention Hotline.
